FATHERS: Optional or Necessary?

Malachi 4:5-6 – 5“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD. 6And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

I. The Target – One Clear Bullseye to Aim At

• Fathers Are Fixers

− The Perceived Targets: Provision, protection, college, sports, behavior, grades are all good. But none of those are THE target. You can hit all of them and still lose your child.

− The Right Target — The Father’s Heart Turned

II. The Filter — One Question for Every Decision

The One Question: “Will this turn our hearts together, or pull them apart?”

III. The Four Non-Negotiables

Ephesians 6:4—And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

• Training: paideia — The formative ATMOSPHERE of the home.

• Admonition: nouthesia — The deliberate, verbal SHAPING of your child's mind.

1. YOUR PRESENCE

• You are not a Resource that can be Outsourced.

• Presence is not Proximity, it’s Attention.

2. YOUR ENVIRONMENT

• The House is the Dwelling, the Environment is the DESIGNER.3. YOUR WORDS

• The Most Important Words

− “I Love You”

− “I'm Proud of You”

− “This is What We Believe and Why”

4. YOUR STANDARD

• Play the Long Game.

Hebrews 12:11–Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

IV. The Cost

1. It Will Cost You Some Time on the Phone.

2. It Will Cost You Some Prioritization in Your Schedule.

3. It Will Cost You Some Comfort of Being Liked by Your Children Every Day.

4. It will cost you Some Disciplines of Bible study, prayer, and Iron sharpens Iron

relationships with other Fathers.